My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
