I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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