my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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