Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
