They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
