Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
The Olympian is in my bed
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
