I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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