Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
