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• (906): View more from Michigan

  i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.

  (989): View more from Michigan

  you're going for the gold here.

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• (650): View more from California

  just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.

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• (304): View more from West Virginia

  remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  ..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.

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• (518): View more from New York

  after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.

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• (501): View more from Arkansas

  thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.

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• (214): View more from Texas

  In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.

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• (208): View more from Idaho

  this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this

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• (859): View more from Kentucky

  In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.

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• (520): View more from Arizona

  She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.

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• (705): View more from Ontario

  this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer

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• (201): View more from New Jersey

  I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family

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• (214): View more from Texas

  It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had

  (1-214): View more from Texas

  It was the only fuck you've ever had..

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• (239): View more from Florida

  THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.

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• (336): View more from North Carolina

  Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill

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