mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
