You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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