Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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