all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
