3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
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