she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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