people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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