I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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