Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
