look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
