Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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