there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
