Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize
