Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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