he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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