I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
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