hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
