We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
