peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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