Christians are straight up FREAKS
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Randomize
