at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
