At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
