it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
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