why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
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