I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
