dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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