69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
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