Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
