im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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