I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Randomize
