There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
