You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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