the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
