The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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