You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
