Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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