Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
