I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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