May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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