Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
