Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
