so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
