So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Randomize
