my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Randomize
